Happy the month of love.
Whether you’re in a relationship, in a complicated relationship, engaged, or married, you can create peace around your relationship in these two simple steps.
In Valentine’s Day’s spirit, I thought I would share with you a little love story of mine and what is helping me create peace in my relationship.
Here’s the story of how I met the love of my life
We first met at one of a party in Bangkok, Thailand, when we were young and wild. No, he wasn’t my love at the first sign! We were a friend for six years. So, nothing romantic at all. But, he was my best friend who always there for me whenever I was in trouble. Unfortunately, he had to leave Thailand, and we still kept in touch from a distance via email for years. One day, he flew back to Thailand and asked me to marry him and move abroad together. First proposed, I declined. A few month lathers he flew back for the second proposed, again, I refused. He didn’t give up; he tried again for the third times. As an abandoned child who was so scared to love and to have a family. I was amazed that love still exist. I know that this person would be someone I love to spend my life with, and I open my heart again to learn to love and be loved. And here I am with him and our little family; we move around from country to county for more than a decade.
From this experience, I learned that helping me be a better wife and mother is trust in love; with love, everything is possible.
I don’t say that I’m a perfect wife or our marriage is perfect, but belief in love help me to create peace throughout any challenges circumstances in my relationship.
And here what I do to create peace around my relationship, and you can use these tips to develop consensus in your relationship.
How to create peace in your relationship.
1. Acceptance, accept the fact that we are not perfect. We are a human being and we sometimes make mistakes. We come from diverse backgrounds and we don’t know what others had been through in life. But at the soul level we are no different. In this life’s journey we all want to be happy, but sometimes we don’t know what are we doing. So, we are here to learn to live a happy life, to be great, to love, and be loved. We learn through our mistakes and imperfections. When we accept this fact, our heart will open fully for compassion. Compassion is beyond love; it’s unconditional love, empathy and kindness. It is this that will lead you to forgive easily.
2. Open your heart to fogive with compassion. When our loved ones make a mistake or do things that annoy us we feel pain, and it is our choic to decide what to do with that pain. If we decide to close our heart we’ll keep the pain inside, leading us to sadness, anger, and argument. Once we choose to open our heart and forgive we create inner peace. Forgiveness doesn’t mean to forget, instead forgiveness means to let go of the pain. Forgive with compassion is the key to freedom, free from the pain and suffering that others make.
Here is one of my favourite poem for humankind by Buddhadasa Bhikkhu that I remind myself of when facing challenges circumstance around my relationship.
We should behave toward our fellow human beings as if they…
Were born, and will grow old, suffer and die, like us.
Enduring the wheel of existence of samara.
Living under the power of attachments, like us.
Subject to desire, rage, and delusion, and
Careless in they way, like us.
Having no idea, why they were born, as we have no idea.
Stupid in something, as we are sometimes stupid.
Indulging their own whims, as we indulge ours.
Wanting to be good, perhaps prominent, even famous.
Taking advantage of opportunities to take advantage of other, like us.
They have the rich to be crazy, to get drunk, to become obsessed.
They are ordinary people who cling to this or that, as we do.
They are under no obligation to suffer or die in our place.
They are our fellow citizens, in secular and spiritual realms.
They behave sometimes in haste, carelessly, like us.
They have the duty to be responsible for their families, not for ours.
They have the right to their won tastes, their won definition of well-being.
They have the right to choose (even their religion) to suit themselves.
They have the right to a share of public resources equal to our share.
The right to be insane, in the world’s opinion as do we.
The right to our forgiveness, depending upon the merits of the case.
The right to be socialists, or liberals,
To think of themselves before they think of others.
They have the right to every right we claim, to live in this world.
Could we all but think this way, conflict and discord would not arise.
Translated by Susan F. Kepner, University of California, Berkeley.
From it’s all Dhamma